Ignatius J. Reilly

I have a class with Ignatius J. Reilly.
He sits in the front and is oh so wily.
He is disguised to be sure so that we won't bother
his sensitive valve while he talks of his mother.

He is missing his green cap and his pirate sword
But I know it is him with every word
That comes out in opinions on this and that
I know it his him without the fucking hat.

He preaches and rails, and probably paints posters
about how the teacher fails, oh how he roasts her!
He's sloppy and belchy, and rolls over the chair
and always seems to be scratching his hair.

I know it is you, Ignatius! I want to scream,
when he speaks of a righteous uprising against the silver screen.
Dude, it's just Theatre Apprectiation Class
Not such a righteous cause, you ass.